Reclaiming the beauty of sexuality after abuse

Sexual wounds are an epidemic.
Statistics show that one out of 3 women and 1 out of 6 men were directly abused as children. In the latest #MeToo tsunami, we were overwhelmed by the horrid stories of abuse, violence, and molestation.
Sexual wounds are so deep, it is the most intimate offense, that can haunt us right throughout our life, locked in years of confusion and pain denying ourselves the enjoyment of healthy sexuality.

Our sexuality is the core of our life force energy, it is our creative energy. Sexual wounds affect every area of our life, contaminating our sexual drive, our sexual expression, our intimate relationships, our sexual functioning, our sexual behavior and our sense of morality, it also affects our self-image, self-esteem and the way we perceive ourselves and perform in this world.

Sexual wounds don’t just go away or disappear, they call for a profound personal growth work.
Consciously stepping into the healing journey can become our greatest gift, our allay to spiritual growth.

I have experienced my first orgasm by my stepfather at the age of nine, in a very complicated family dynamic. It shook my world to the ground. As a young girl who was naturally wired for pleasure, I lost my innocent orgasmic flow. My sexual energy became wired with shame, guilt, and disgust for decades to come. My deep hurt fueled my will to heal and I had to pioneer a way of healing my sexuality, a way that I have the courage to share intimately and to shine light upon, with the intent to support the spiritual evolution of women.

In my upcoming book: “Unapologetically Me- Reclaiming my sacred sexuality” I unveil my own healing journey and share the path of healing myself which allowed me to unlock the mechanics of somatic healing. This alchemical process has the potential to turn a wound into a source of power, into a golden light.

I trust that my story is important and empowering enough to be shared in this transparent way and that it will lead the way for global sexual healing.
My mission is to heal our sexuality as a collective. To reclaim sexuality as the sacred, pure, innocent, divine, magical, healing, transformative, creative power it is. This energy is our birthright, we are naturally wired for pleasure, joy, connection, orgasm, prayer, and love.

I know that a sexually healed woman, embodied and empowered, is an unstoppable creative force that will heal this planet. She can create all her soul-aligned desires and at the same time be the source of light for her family, her community and possibly the entire world. She even has the power to become the one who transmutes healing to her intimate beloved.

Watch also for my upcoming free programme called Sexual Alchemy, on how to transform wounds into your golden power, so you can reclaim your Sacred Sexuality.
When you reclaim your sexuality, you reclaim yourself!

How I direct the power of my Orgasms to manifest my dream Life

We all watched the movie “The Secret” and it opened a new realisation of our ability to manifest our dreams with the power of our mind and emotions. It is the intention that we send out to the universe that creates a frequency which resonates with the experiences we call into our lives. So how about using the power of the most potent energy of creation?

Our Orgasm holds the key to creation and manifestation of our desires, of what we came here to embody, to be, to do and to enjoy.

If you can’t experience orgasms, then something is blocking this energy in your body, usually due to some kind of past traumatic experience or a limiting belief. It can be shifted by doing embodied conscious work. In my work with women, I witnessed how women reclaim the power of their orgasms.

We are all sexual beings born from at least one orgasm (I doubt that many of us were lucky to be born out of two orgasms…) Continue reading

How to transform your relationship, 8 steps to rise (not fall!) in love

Say, you fell crazy in love with each other and thought that you have stumbled upon the goldmine of existence, to find out along the way that you actually, very often can’t even stand your spouse anymore.
Sounds familiar? You are not alone, and the good news is that you can rise in love even if it feels as far from reality as a flight to space.

Continue reading

What is Your Life Calling? 8 Powerful Ways to Remember your Brilliance

We all came here on a Sacred mission and our soul keeps longing to live it.
As vast as teaching millions of people or as concentrated as being a devotional mother to a child, or even an animal, we all have our own unique fragrance.

This one extraordinary ray of light that is ours to add to the entire mix of humanity.

When we pursue our calling, our contribution to the whole, we feel deeply fulfilled. On other hand, if we are not in tune with it, it keeps knocking on our inner door and begging for our attention. We feel it in our inner struggles.

These few pointers will support you in remembering (you already know it all!) what is your life calling, what is your particular gift that the world will find valuable.

1. What did you enjoy doing as a child?
This is a powerful indicator of the activity or field of interest that consumed your early days, before you prioritised your life according to learned (often corrupted) importance. What consumed your totality before you were conditioned by your parents, family, teachers and society regarding how you should live your life?

Perhaps, you took some roads for the mere acceptance of others rather than your own true desires. In many occasions to pursue your life calling meant to be a rebel.

Connect to life from the heart space, from the innocence and purity of a child and you will soon tap into your brilliance once again.

2. Observe the thread of your life.
You will find many clues and building blocks creating the tread of your purpose.

Life itself organised all the necessary events, tools, skills and depth of experiences, which supports your soul as it is seeking to expand itself into its full potential. Sometimes we can only connect the dots once we are aligned with our purpose. Then we are able to track how we were always guided and supported even through what we categorised as “bad”, we can now consider to be opportunities for your evolution, blessings in disguise on your life journey (even if you can’t see it right now).
Life holds the power to provide you with the necessary keys to unlock your own potential once you accept them as they are: your stepping stones on your path for self actualisation.

For that, you have to make the choice to be the hero of your life rather than the victim of your story.

3. Observe whether you are wired* as a victim/ mortar/ pessimist or total altruist? or any other limiting archetype.
If you find yourself stuck in one of these archetypes and it inflicts pain on you, notice and accept it as a precious gift that served as a survival mechanism in your private circumstances.

It is not a life sentence and it can be transformed, but you do have to make a conscious decision that you want to drop this limiting pattern of behaviour, that no longer serves you.

The awareness of this pattern together with new wiring of self-loving attitude can shape shift your current reality into the one you are thriving to live – free from the bondages that were created in order to feel loved.

4. What blessings can you count and be grateful for now?
it is important to create a vibration of gratitude as it takes you closer to your life calling.

5. What gives you life energy and fills you with vital power?

When you live your purpose it feels great.

When I am speaking or writing I feel alive (did I mentioned, dancing…?)
I am so passionate about what I do that it sends ripples out to people around me. It is magnetic creative power. what is it that turns you on?

6. What would you do if money (or time) was not an issue?

What would you do then? Most likely your life calling.
If your answer is, I will vegetate in front of the TV, surf on social media, or lay on the beach all day, anything along those lines than you clearly choose to stay mediocre and let life pass by. Perhaps, you lost the burning flame of the fire of life, or you are suppressing so much pain that it is numbing you.
In this case, there are many therapies to ignite this flame of life again, my favourites being breathwork and plant medicine.

7. What are your interests, talents and passions?

They all are powerful indicators of your purpose.

There is always a distinction between your gifts and the gifts you are here to share. It might unveil a new direction, a whole other angel. It might be all manifested in a way you could not envision, so be open to the flow of life.

8. What is your Golden Shadow?

Your dark shadow makes up your fears, addictions and dirty secretes. Your golden shadow is the matrix of your hidden talents, blinding beauty, inherited intelligence and unique creativity.

The golden shadow is what we hide from others (or even from ourselves!) and what we are unwilling to love in ourselves.

It can be your esoteric gift that you hide from the fear of being perceived as weird or your natural feminine sexuality that you temper for the fear of seeming too outrages.

When we dare to share our golden shadow, this divine aspect of us, we unlock its power and become more integrated.

When you own your golden shadow you shine.

*Wired means neurological pathways that imprinted a certain pattern in the brain.

Seven Days of Solitude And Silence

I recently came back from my own private silent retreat. Over the couple of silent retreats that I have done in the past few years, I have experienced the powerful value of this kind of work. Besides the obvious like switching off from the daily routine, the duties of work and the constant demand of raising children, there is a whole other dimension to it.

I stayed in our off-road, super cool camper on a farm in Robertson, a remote place in the mountains of Cape Town, South Africa. I was nestled in a gorgeous valley with a pristine lake, where I swam daily.

My intention was to experience seven days of solitude and silence, and to water fast, while I was writing my upcoming book “Unapologetically Me”. This is my own private inspirational story of how I dropped guilt, shame, judgment, and blame and became a self-realised, switched on and vibrant woman.

I aimed to close all the exits to the external world so that my energy kept circulating within me, without distractions.

I wanted to sit with my self and watch my inner sky, with the space to notice the patterns of my thoughts and the growing emptiness arising in between them. I wanted to clear and crystallise my mind and my body so that I could become an open channel for the words to flow through me.

The silence part of it, I deeply cherished and I enjoyed the privilege of rooting deeper into my being – listening to the sounds of nature.

As a storyteller, I love talking to people and a retreat is a great occasion for revitalisation. The water fasting was the most challenging part. I had to take each day as it came, being totally present in the current moment and surrendering to the discomfort.

There is a powerful quality of higher spiritual connection when fasting and that was a great motivator to keep me going.

I feel that it is important at times to explore life out of our comfort zone and I chose to select my ways.

I have noticed that people who are too attached to their comfort zone often get shaken out by spirit in a form of an illness, an accident, loss of job, etc.

It is in this uncharted territory of the unfamiliar that our soul gets to expand and explore new qualities of the self.

I am grateful for the opportunity to witness my courage, resilience and utter trust in the guidance that I receive.

How can you leap out of your comfort zone?

I would love you to share your ideas.

Blessings to you 🙂

The mechanics of healing and my inspiring story about dogs

Animals vibrate at a frequency of love – pure love that is looking for an address. We can tap into our own frequency of unconditional love through them.

I would like to share my healing story with animals and the blessed gift I received through them. I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have had a few dogs and cats along the years as well as our 3 children.

I have noticed a pattern in my relationship with all of them. When they were little and super cute in our first few years together, I used to adore them. As they grew older, it was as if I was distancing myself from them.

From puppies that slept in my bed to dogs that slept outside…
From taking them everywhere with me to taking them almost nowhere…
From giving them lots of love to hardly noticing them…

My heart closed to them and I felt bad about it. It was a catch 22: the less attention I gave them the more they attempted to get attention in a destructive way, and the more my heart closed to them.

One of the dogs, named Lola, lived with us for 15 years. In the last year of her life, we were away traveling and she was living with a friend, together with our other dog Gandi and his mom Sinaya. I confess that I hardly missed my dogs. It was as if my heart was frozen – there was simply no feeling there. I was absorbed in my adventures and my spiritual quest with my family.

We came back home to visit after a year and Lola’s health had deteriorated. She was old and had cancer. The vet recommended we put her down. Her breathing was difficult and she was suffering. Facing her upcoming death, I found myself lying on the grass alongside her and crying my heart out: in guilt, in sadness, in grief.

She lay next to me, looking into my eyes with so much compassion and transmitting love to me. with her endless kindness. My last moments with her cracked my heart open. We buried her in my back garden.

And then we left for another 3 years.

In that time, I dived into healing and self-growth in a profound way.

During that time, Sinaya was killed in an accident, which was very sad news for all of us.

When we came back from our travels, it was heart melting so see how the kids connected to Gandi with so much love and reverence. For all the time we were away they kept talking about their dogs. I was happy to have a dog again, yet, I almost envied the kids for their ability to connect to him so deeply and love him so totally.

One day, not long after I came back home, while in the shower I had a flash of a memory.

When I was 12 years old, I had a rescue dog named Pinky. She was such a cute puppy that somehow my step sister convinced her mom to keep her in our home. When Pinky was 2 years old she got pregnant and gave birth to a few puppies.
After finding homes for the puppies, my step mother decided she didn’t want Pinky in the house any longer. She had enough.

Pinky was my safe haven. I begged and pleaded, devoted to take good care of her, but nothing helped.

“If you not going to find her another home I will drop her at a dog shelter”, she told me.

With Pinky in my arms being washed from my tears dropping down on her, I went around the neighborhood, knocking on people’s doors. looking for a new home and family for Pinky. I had to be strong. I didn’t want Pinky to end up in a shelter.

In that moment in the shower, I could connect to the feeling of the 12-year-old me. I could feel into the agony of the loss, the deep-rooted pain that was buried deep inside of me.

I burst into crying, that progressed to be wailing, feeling the totality of the pain. A pain that I never fully processed before. My daughters came running to me, when they heard me, they got worried thinking someone had died.

As I shared with them later, they had witnessed the miracle of healing. This allowing of feelings is what cracked an amour that I subconsciously placed around my heart. At the time this survival mechanism was vital, it allowed me to move forward and to protect my tender heart from hurting that much again.

After this breakthrough, it was as if my heart cracked open more. I could feel much deeper love.
It melted all the residual walls that I still had in my relationship with Gandi and I found that a new portal for communication has opened for us. Although Gandi had been my dog for a few years by then, it was the first time that I actually noticed that Gandi looked so similar to Pinky – both small white dogs with brown mark around the left eye!

Kiana, my 5-year-old daughter said to me: “Mama, Pinky came back as Gandi”.

Today, I communicate with Gandi on a whole new level and we have a clear channel of pure love flow. I am also blessed to have a new dog, an African wolf, named Lola (not by me…synchronicity to the max!) that I took over from a friend.

Lola is my medicine dog with her gentle, kind, playful and wise spirit- she even has red hair like me…

Thank you animals, for all your grace and your divine teaching of unconditional love.

Namaste, Nunaisi