animals

The mechanics of healing and my inspiring story about dogs

Animals vibrate at a frequency of love – pure love that is looking for an address. We can tap into our own frequency of unconditional love through them.

I would like to share my healing story with animals and the blessed gift I received through them. I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have had a few dogs and cats along the years as well as our 3 children.

I have noticed a pattern in my relationship with all of them. When they were little and super cute in our first few years together, I used to adore them. As they grew older, it was as if I was distancing myself from them.

From puppies that slept in my bed to dogs that slept outside…
From taking them everywhere with me to taking them almost nowhere…
From giving them lots of love to hardly noticing them…

My heart closed to them and I felt bad about it. It was a catch 22: the less attention I gave them the more they attempted to get attention in a destructive way, and the more my heart closed to them.

One of the dogs, named Lola, lived with us for 15 years. In the last year of her life, we were away traveling and she was living with a friend, together with our other dog Gandi and his mom Sinaya. I confess that I hardly missed my dogs. It was as if my heart was frozen – there was simply no feeling there. I was absorbed in my adventures and my spiritual quest with my family.

We came back home to visit after a year and Lola’s health had deteriorated. She was old and had cancer. The vet recommended we put her down. Her breathing was difficult and she was suffering. Facing her upcoming death, I found myself lying on the grass alongside her and crying my heart out: in guilt, in sadness, in grief.

She lay next to me, looking into my eyes with so much compassion and transmitting love to me. with her endless kindness. My last moments with her cracked my heart open. We buried her in my back garden.

And then we left for another 3 years.

In that time, I dived into healing and self-growth in a profound way.

During that time, Sinaya was killed in an accident, which was very sad news for all of us.

When we came back from our travels, it was heart melting so see how the kids connected to Gandi with so much love and reverence. For all the time we were away they kept talking about their dogs. I was happy to have a dog again, yet, I almost envied the kids for their ability to connect to him so deeply and love him so totally.

One day, not long after I came back home, while in the shower I had a flash of a memory.

When I was 12 years old, I had a rescue dog named Pinky. She was such a cute puppy that somehow my step sister convinced her mom to keep her in our home. When Pinky was 2 years old she got pregnant and gave birth to a few puppies.
After finding homes for the puppies, my step mother decided she didn’t want Pinky in the house any longer. She had enough.

Pinky was my safe haven. I begged and pleaded, devoted to take good care of her, but nothing helped.

“If you not going to find her another home I will drop her at a dog shelter”, she told me.

With Pinky in my arms being washed from my tears dropping down on her, I went around the neighborhood, knocking on people’s doors. looking for a new home and family for Pinky. I had to be strong. I didn’t want Pinky to end up in a shelter.

In that moment in the shower, I could connect to the feeling of the 12-year-old me. I could feel into the agony of the loss, the deep-rooted pain that was buried deep inside of me.

I burst into crying, that progressed to be wailing, feeling the totality of the pain. A pain that I never fully processed before. My daughters came running to me, when they heard me, they got worried thinking someone had died.

As I shared with them later, they had witnessed the miracle of healing. This allowing of feelings is what cracked an amour that I subconsciously placed around my heart. At the time this survival mechanism was vital, it allowed me to move forward and to protect my tender heart from hurting that much again.

After this breakthrough, it was as if my heart cracked open more. I could feel much deeper love.
It melted all the residual walls that I still had in my relationship with Gandi and I found that a new portal for communication has opened for us. Although Gandi had been my dog for a few years by then, it was the first time that I actually noticed that Gandi looked so similar to Pinky – both small white dogs with brown mark around the left eye!

Kiana, my 5-year-old daughter said to me: “Mama, Pinky came back as Gandi”.

Today, I communicate with Gandi on a whole new level and we have a clear channel of pure love flow. I am also blessed to have a new dog, an African wolf, named Lola (not by me…synchronicity to the max!) that I took over from a friend.

Lola is my medicine dog with her gentle, kind, playful and wise spirit- she even has red hair like me…

Thank you animals, for all your grace and your divine teaching of unconditional love.

Namaste, Nunaisi