Self-love practices are different for everyone.
What works for me may not work for you and may not work for someone else as we are each so unique as individuals. The major secret is to reconnect to the authentic self. The first step to developing self-love is all about self-awareness.
So, it begins with answering some reflective questions to identify who is your authentic self.
We want to eliminate the authentic self from the false self or the ego-personality we’ve constructed growing up. As soon as you can start to recognize the difference between the two, then you can begin engaging in certain activities that help you re-experience your authentic self, but in a safe space. Because, if it wasn’t safe to be your authentic self-growing up, or even as an adult, then it’s going to take some time for you to start to practice being yourself, showing up as yourself and being vulnerable. The more you do so, the more you prove to that little ego…. It’s OK; I’m still alive; I’m still lovable.
We all received our very unique gifts for this lifetime. But, unfortunately, so many of us don’t tune in or can’t express our gifts because of previous wiring or conditioning or expectations. So it’s very important to know that when you are yourself, some will love you, and some will not, and that is OK. You rather be yourself and attract those that love you for really who you are then pretend or put on a mask, and attract everyone because it doesn’t work like that.
It’s all about following your true path. We have certain talents, we have a soul print that is unique to us. When we’re not living it, the soul starts to create this tension, and it shows up in the body. So now, your body may respond differently than mine.
The wisdom of the body, it knows when something feels good in your system, whether it comes from your authentic self, or the ego or conditioning, you feel it in your body, you feel the energy. So just really to become aware and sensitive to those messages and learning to love yourself has a large part to play in these feelings.
It’s basically retraining the ego to accept who you really are, and learning self-love.
I find that it’s best to do this in a community, either a one to one community with a coach or a therapist, particularly if you still have to process some of your trauma. Or find an online community where you can get together with other people in safe spaces to allow yourself to express and embody your authentic self over time.
Take a look at the Healing Sexual Wounds Summit on your journey back to self-love and reconnecting to your authentic self
Most of us are not born into the world hating ourselves. As a baby in our mother’s womb, we experience a sense of oneness. But in their first year of life, an infant starts to recognize that the caregiver and the self are not the same,. Then we see what is called the ego begins to be formed.
The ego is not good or bad. It’s simply a psychological construct, and this ego with this personality. This sense of ‘I’, is developed to help us survive. So, in other words, the ego only cares about our safety, security, and survival.
One of our fundamental capabilities as a human is to adapt. We adapt to our circumstances and our situations. We create almost a false self, and all of those adaptations create this persona or this personality that we show to the world to survive and fit in. So we start to hide those aspects of the authentic self and dis-owning a part of ourselves.
Maybe as a child, you didn’t get comforting from an older sibling or a babysitter or grandparent who could say, “It’s OK, just because someone is doing this or that it doesn’t mean that you’re not lovable”. So, if we don’t have those abilities, even within our own mind, to reason just because this person abused me doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person. Then, later in life, when we feel that stress and that anxiety come back up, because we can, of course, be triggered from other life circumstances, then we look to comfort ourselves.
That’s when some people will binge eat, or they’ll shop, or they will do drugs, or alcohol, or they relationship hop, or look for promiscuous sexual adventures, all in the attempt to quiet down that anxious, internal dialogue.
So what happens is, we are disconnected from what I call the authentic self. It’s all about coming back into connection and contact with the authentic self, that part of us that is naturally good, naturally whole, and inherently lovable. So self-love is about being vulnerable and accepting all parts of ourselves.
Being vulnerable is essential for true intimacy. So if you want to be in a loving, healthy relationship, there’s going to come to a point where you’ve got to share your truth and being vulnerable. It is that first step towards deep and true intimacy. So being vulnerable is actually a strength. It’s not a weakness.
When you start the journey consciously, when you make that decision, it’s like the universe comes in, wraps you in the wings of love, and shows you the next step. The next teacher appears, and you start the engine, and all the unseen love and guidance conspires to move you in that direction because when you in your full power, authentic self, you are a powerhouse of so much potential, and this is really why you are here. The Earth and the planet call all of you to come back home into your body. So you can be the magnificent self you are meant to be, that you are born to be, that you have everything in your body to activate just by making that conscious choice to find self-love.
It’s a process, but it’s so gratifying because you reconnect with your authentic self and your authentic voice. You start to express yourself in ways that make you realize that you are acceptable and lovable for who you really are, then everything can shift and change. It’s not overnight, but these amazing shifts and transformations happen over time, allowing us to be healthier for everyone in our lives, especially our children.
Coming home to the authentic self, you’re connecting to the divine, and the divine is all-powerful. That is the creative spark that is within us. So in being conscious and completely accepting of ourselves and constantly being in an awareness phase of this self-discovery process, we can learn to let go and surrender. In doing so, we retrain the ego to experience all that is divine within us.
If you need help with your re-connection to your authentic self, may these Self-Love affirmations guide you on your journey.
Listen to the Podcast:
How to Love Yourself eBook: Seven Spiritual Keys for Transformation 👈 #Selflove
If you feel called to heal your sexual wounds or shame, grab your copy of the Healing Sexual Wounds Summit here
FREE Sexual Healing Playbook 👈 #SexualHealing
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This blog was written from the I Rise Sexual Healing Summit session with Dr Andrea.
Dr. Andrea Pennington is an integrative physician, acupuncturist, meditation teacher and sex educator. She is the author of The Pennington Plan and co-author of the international bestseller, Heart to Heart: The Path to Wellness, The Orgasm Prescription for Women as well as co-author of Resilience Through Yoga and Meditation.
Andrea is an integrative physician, acupuncturist, meditation teacher and sex educator. She is the author of The Pennington Plan and co-author of the international bestseller, Heart to Heart: The Path to Wellness, The Orgasm Prescription for Women as well as co-author of Resilience Through Yoga and Meditation.
